about | contact | disclaimer | home   

S.KRAUSE

The Theology of Toys

Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys wins.
Hari Krishna
He who plays with the most toys wins.
Judaism
He who buys toys at the lowest price wins.
Catholocism
He who denies himself the most toys wins.
Branch Davidians
He who dies with the biggest toys wins.
Anglican
They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox
No, they were ours first!
Atheism
There is no toy maker.
Polytheism
There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism
The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Science
We are the toys.
Communism
Everybody gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
Baha'i
All toys are just fine with us.
Amish
Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism
The doll is just as important as the dumptruck.
Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo
Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism
Hang the rule book! Let's play!
Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals loses.
Seventh Day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.
Church of Christ
He whose toys make music loses.
Baptist
Once played, always played.
Jehovah's Witness
He who sells the most toys door to door wins.
Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk wins.
Existentialism
Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism
Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
Non-Denominational
We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
Agnosticism
It is not possible to know if toys make one bit of difference.
Lutheranism
Poor miserable sinners, unworthy to possess toys, but playing with them in all boldness.