Seemingly dry and witless, textbooks are actually sources of hidden mirth and wisdom, as almost everyone knows. The following quotes show the range, and absurdity, of "textbook humor."
Who is more Gullible? Who is more Credible?
Leena: Phoebe, are you mad at me?!?
Stuart: What did you do with your last roommate?
Leena convinces Phoebe that Leena was a cat in her past life.
Phoebe and others succeed in putting Leena in a box. Steve, seeing Leena's feet sticking out of the box (placed inverted on top of Leena) asks: "Leena, are you in there?"
Leena and others tell Phoebe that Professor Flapan at Pomona wrote the world famous Flapan Theory. Phoebe believes them. When her gullibility is revealed, Phoebe flushes raspberry and runs out of the room.
Leena lectures Phoebe on keeping the door locked always so stuff doesn't get stolen. 5 minutes later Leena says: "I'm just going down to say bye to my bro-in-law. I don't have a key. Leave the door open."
Phoebe convinces Leena that the laundry machines in M-B are way harder to operate than those in Walker. Leena ponders why.
Phoebe: "No, Leena, I really do think you are a bitch. And let me tell you something..." (Leena's eyes are as large as saucers) Phoebe: "A couple of days ago..." (Phoebe bursts out laughing)
Leena, in Phoebe's face, screams loudly: "Aaaahh!!!" Phoebe, scared witless and into a bright raspberry, screams back a high-pitched scream of terror: "Aaahh!!!"
Phoebe, to Leena: "What's it like to be brown?" In reference to her fair skin, Phoebe comments something that she won't let [Leena] here about glowing in the dark.
Andrew: "Do you wear anything?"
Leena: "The only thing I know is that I just don't know." (1/20/94)
Leena asks Phoebe her plans for Feb. 30. Phoebe considers for a long while what she'd be doing on that Wednesday until Steve finally tells her that there never [is] a Feb. 30.
Nate to Phoebe: "So don't worry about feeling like a bitch."
by Leena J. Ved
One day, when I was three I discovered that my sister took some change that I had saved up without asking me. When I got angry, she told me not to worry, because money grows on trees. At first I didn't believe her, but she did a great job of convincing me.
The next day, I got a quarter, a dime, a nickel and a penny from my mom, and I buried them in the back yard. Daily, I would go check on my "money tree!" Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling my sister where I buried the coins.
A few days later I found that all of the coins were gone. I told my sister, and she accompanied me to the backyard to recheck. When she saw the empty hole, she pointed to a weed growing next to the whole, and explained to me that the coin "seeds" grew into this. However, this time I didn't believe her, and I asked for my coins back.
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This page was last updated on June 27, 1998.